Alexander W. Dreyfoos School of the Arts | 501 S. Sapodilla Ave, WPB, FL 33401

THE MUSE

Happening Now
  • April 29Seeds Open Mic Night on May 3 at 4 p.m. in Grandview Public Market
  • April 29AICE English Language Exam on May 3 at 8 a.m.
  • April 29Orchestra Concert on May 2 at 6:30 p.m. in Meyer Hall
  • April 29US History EOC on May 2 at the Gym and Media Center at 8 a.m.
  • April 29SGA Officer Elections Online on May 2-3
  • April 29BSU Block Party on May 1 at 11:19 a.m. in the cafeteria
  • April 29Spring into College Series on May 1 at 11:19 a.m. in room 1-401
  • April 29Aice English General Paper Exam on May 1 at 8 a.m.
  • April 29Decisions and Donuts on May 1 at 7:45 a.m. in the Cafeteria
  • April 29Slam Poetry EOY Banquet on April 30 at 4 p.m. at City Pizza
Alexander W. Dreyfoos School of the Arts | 501 S. Sapodilla Ave, WPB, FL 33401

THE MUSE

Alexander W. Dreyfoos School of the Arts | 501 S. Sapodilla Ave, WPB, FL 33401

THE MUSE

Taking It At Face Value

I possess the highly commendable ability to make downright ugly facial expressions on demand. Morphing and shaping my face into unpleasant and outlandish expressions has consistently been known as my forte. As a kid, I would perch respectfully at my mother’s side while complete strangers ogled over how exceptionally angelic and obedient I was. I’m sure all witnesses would agree they were shocked when 3-foot, 4-year-old Claude busted out a grotesque face like no other. As soon as an adult would praise me for being “momma’s little angel”, I would scrunch my face into a sour and unsightly double chin and stare blankly back at them.

I never believed my parents when they told me if I held an ugly face for too long, it would stay like that forever. But after 16 years of generating deformed and unsightly expressions, I have to admit my parents may have been on to something—my niche for making demented and erratic faces has become an unconscious habit.

 

The Grinch-faced Photo Bomber:

The cultural hearth of my ugly-faced talent lies in what is coined as the “Grinch-faced Photo Bomber”, or the GFPB, which I developed during my terrible two’s. Although quite simple, the most accurate way to illustrate the expression that follows the GFPB is a hybrid between Jim Carey’s Grinch adaptation, a newly born pug and a crying infant. The GFPB can only be truly achieved through film, and is the most effective way to spoil a perfectly good photograph. Disclaimer: the Grinch-faced Photo Bomber is a direct result of smiling too hard in a group photo. 

 

The Unconscious Disgusted:

This disgusted facial expression comes naturally for me during awkward or offensive circumstances. In order to master the look you must: push the face as tightly to the neck as possible, curl the ends of your mouth southward, then stare aghast at the object of disapproval. Note: when especially irate, the nose or eye will twitch ever so slightly. I encounter “the unconscious disgusted” while partaking in school activities. Just last week, as I was halfway through taking an SAT vocabulary quiz in my english class, my teacher had no qualms about announcing to the entire class that I “looked as if I wanted to strangle my paper.” Upon further inspection, I realized that my english teacher was direct proof “the unconscious disgusted” is truly working its magic.

 

The Overjoyed and Content:

The overjoyed and content, or “OC”, is a direct correlation of “OD”-ing on a chimerical and satisfied emotion. The OC is produced after a surge of pleasure is released from the nervous system. When performing the OC, the face extends ever so slightly as the eyes cheerfully chink up and the mouth shrivels into a contented line. The sight and aroma of Chipotle never fails to make me OC like no other. I’ll continue to express my emotional imbalance when I spot guacamole and cilantro-lime rice. I have absolutely no shame.  

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About the Contributor
Claudia Zamora
Claudia Zamora, Editor in Chief
Claudia Zamora is an Editor-in-Chief of The Muse. This is Zamora's third year on The Muse staff. Zamora's interest in the journalism community and passion for storytelling continues off-campus as well. During the summer of her Junior year, Zamora was selected to attend the Peace Sullivan/ James Ansin Workshop in Journalism at the University of Miami, reporting on undocumented residents in Miami, Florida. Claudia was also one of 42 students selected nationally and internationally to attend the Asian American Journalists Association JCamp 2014 program at Emerson College in Boston. On campus, Claudia serves as the President of Key Club International and Co-Treasurer of the National Honor Society. In the future, Claudia hopes to pursue her passion for writing by working on the staff of a university publication. Claudia also hopes to work in an artistic environment with a diverse community of students.
Donate to THE MUSE
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